When absence is good

Sometimes I feel so happy
When the pain is absent
And I can almost forget about it - for awhile.
It comes as blessing-the absence.
It lets me focus on other things-for awhile.
How I wish I could
Hold on to those feelings of happiness and peace
In the hard times.
It's easy to give in-
Give up.
But those times of absence give me strength to know
A break from pain will come again.
Hold on to hope-You who suffer too.
Absence of pain will come again.

We stand together in our experiences of pain.
Please remember to hope.

-A.T.

frustration

It seems like it gets harder and harder for me to live the way I want.
I want to be able to go out to the movies and to restaurants, to go swimming at the public pool and to visit friends and meet new people

But I can't be sure I won't start screaming or cause a scene. It makes me so anxious. And mad. Mad that so many people stop and stare at me - like I don't belong if I can't be quiet.

I want to be quiet. Believe me. It develops so quickly and I can't stop it. Even when I am feeling very happy I can still get loud. So loud. It gives me headaches.

I wish it would get better

Loved

So many people spend their lives feeling unloved, alone and so sad.
It breaks my heart to think about that.

I am so blessed to know that I am loved
and that I am loved by so many wonderful people.

Every person is loved by someone.
There is so much love to go around.

I share my love
and all the love I receive 
with you. 

You are loved.

-A.T. 

Love

should we love one another?
of course we should!

Love looks different to different people:
Hugging and holding
or
Listening intensely 
or
Staying present 
or
Watching old movies
or
Talking about the hard stuff 
or
Finding joy in the little things. 

Love becomes giving and receiving. 
We can love our family, our friends, our partners...

Love does need to look a certain way nor only be between certain people. 

LOVE can change you,
LOVE can change us,
LOVE can change the world. 

Let's LOVE!!

Summer Part 2

Spending the summer with family and friends has been incredible.
Seeing my good friend who lives in Ottawa is a highlight for me. I wish I could see her more often.

The Stratford Picnic and beer outing this week was so great.
I love little adventures and being with people who totally get me. 

Did I forget to say swimming? The pool is good for my soul. I feel free and happy in the pool. 

Summertime is a good time : friends, family, adventures, picnics, swimming.
I wish September would never come!

Summer Thoughts

I love having adventures with my family. We just came back from spending time in Europe with my sisters. We explored great places and ate great food.  I love being together with my sisters : laughing together, eating and drinking together. I'm so glad my family doesn't let my RS get in the way of our traveling. But, I'm glad to be home.

I want to have more adventures. I'd like to go an adventure with Sarah. I would pick Thunder Bay so that I could see where she's from. I bet it would explain a thing or two.

I wish it was summer all year round. All the swimming in our pool, the beautiful weather, blogging on patios, fresh fruit... it all makes me so happy.  Plus, I get to spend more time with my friends because they don't have to work so hard in the summer.

But, there are days when it is too hot out even for me. I like warm weather but not sauna weather.  This feels like the hottest summer I remember.  It makes me scared for the planet and for anyone who doesn't have access to air conditioning.

From the Vigil at City Hall

We just came back from the rally for all those affected by the violence in Orlando-at city hall-to support the LGBTQ community and to stand up against violence of any kind.

My heart broke. Still breaks for the terrible tragedy.  

Whatever the reason the killer had, I don't care! 
There is no reason or rhyme. 

I'm sad for people who don't feel 
safe or understood or loved

I can't imagine a world without my LGBTQ friends. 

Love is love is LOVE !! 

I love you. I'm here for you. 

Always. 

A.T. 

Friendship Changes Everything

I can't imagine what my life would be like if I didn't have my friends.
They keep me sane. They keep me safe. And I know I am fully loved-just as they are loved too.
I am so fortunate to have made some incredible friends over my life - in St Catherine's, Saskatoon and Waterloo. Some I haven't seen in such a long time. So long. And yet, I love them still.
Some I see all the time. I love them too.
They've taught me self acceptance and love. I hope that I've taught them things too.
Surely we have taught each other patience and forgiveness.
I'm sure my life is better because of them.  Thank God for my friends - acquaintances, best friends and everyone in between!

SPRING!!!!

Spring is finally here!!
I can't believe how amazing it has been outside.
There have been so many great walking days. Except that time Sarah fell down the hill.
Good thing I'm strong and didn't fall too!  I'm glad she didn't hurt herself.

I love this time of year. It is so much easier for me to get around in the Spring .
I am so happy that I don't  have to worry about slipping on ice or snow , or about falling and breaking something.

I'm so glad I can wear sandals again . It feels like winter is really over! If I never saw another snowflake, I would be okay with that.
I hope it gets warm enough that we can swim outside before June.

Winter Strikes Again

The fact that we have yet another winter morning
Doesn't really impress me.
I am so ready for summer.
Swimming at home,
walking for hours at the park,
no worries about slipping on ice,
or freezing my fingers.
I want to eat dinner on our deck at sunset
with music playing,
warm weather,
family
and friends.
I want to be able to run around
and not step in snowbanks.
So...
Let's go summer.
Let's skip spring
Go straight to summer.
Please.

The Best Part of Being Me

It isn't the fact that I can't verbally express myself.
It isn't the incredible pain.
It's not the stares I get everywhere I go.
It's not the screams.
It's not the disease.

The best part of being me is:
Having my beautiful family that I have
And friends who love me unconditionally.

~ A.T.

ps - check out the link to the video of this blog here 

New Year

It seems like we just celebrated 2015. And now we have a new year.

Another year. Another chance to make the world a better place. 

 I wish that this year would be the year to end all poverty.
 Poverty takes many forms : spiritual, financial, emotional and social.
This could be the year we start to take on the big questions.
 I mean, it must have crossed someone else's mind that is enough is enough. 

There is far too much wealth for the kind of poverty we face as humanity. What is getting in the way? Self absorption, technological isolation, fear. We feel overwhelmed. It's too much.
It can be very hard to feel like you can make a difference. So we don't even try. 

Small steps are the answer. Starting with "Hello". One person at a time.


Happy New Year!!!